Monday, November 26, 2012

in the gap.

For my moose, don't fear the gap.

It is no secret that music is my favorite form of expression. I recently noticed a line in a song that I had listened to dozens of times, but never really heard. It's been ringing in my brain ever since.

"Maybe I'm in the black,
Maybe I'm on my knees,
Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes."
- Coldplay, Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

Life moves fast. Sometimes your feet won't touch the ground, your hands can't grip the sides and reality makes you dizzy. You want to run, and stop, and reach out, and be alone. But buckle your seatbelt, friend, this is when it counts the most.

Humans have an innate aversion to feeling out of control [along with feeling awkward, vulnerable, inconsistent and everything else that doesn't feel good]. But why? Because for so long we've assigned a negative feeling with these normal reactions to life.  Acceptance wouldn't be a virtue if it was easy. 

My best advice?

You grow in times of chaos, so reassign the feelings and recognize the beauty of being unsure. You'll learn more from being tossed around than you'll learn from stagnation. And pick a spot on the wall, it will help with the dizziness. 
The past is depressing, the future is anxiety-provoking. Own the gap. Live for today only. You'll catch the bar as soon as you stop trying.
Let yourself be out of control, let yourself be young and make mistakes
This is how we grow and learn and evolve.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

give thanks.

On being thankful for parking tickets, plane delays and sheer exhaustion.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving week, I've decided to take some solid advice I was given by a sixth grade bus driver and "turn a negative into a positive, and have a great day!" I hope that man knows what a profound difference he made in my life by starting each morning with such a simple phrase.

Here is me, giving thanks to some of my severe annoyances:

My Parking Ticket:
I am thankful for my parking ticket, because it reminds me that I have a functioning car with which I can park illegally. And if I couldn't park illegally, I likely would not be living in the heart of the city that I love. So thank you parking ticket, I will pay you, on-time, with an abundance of joy in my heart.

The Skinny Jeans I Can't Currently Fit Into:
Skinny jeans, I bet you thought I'd never acknowledge you during a period of not being able to wear you, but here it goes: You are the direct result of me having access to food, drink and occasional libations, without which I could not sustain life. I am thankful and I will be seeing you soon. (See Below)

The Slow Elevator In My Building [that often does not account for the number of times I hit the snooze button]:
Slow elevator, thank you for partnering with skinny jeans to remind me that I have the physical capability of conquering five flights of stairs, and I may even gain energy and access to skinny jeans from the use of said stairs. In all seriousness, I am infinitely grateful for having an able body and need to start treating it with more respect. The New Year will be here soon, stay tuned for resolutions.

Plane Delays:
I know what you're thinking, NO ONE is thankful for a plane delay, unless they have snoozed the alarm five times and live in a building with a slow elevator. Not only do I fit into that category, BUT the specific delays to which I am referring allowed me the opportunity to catch up with a college friend who I don't get to see enough, AND spend an extra small amount of time on Texas soil. Plane delays, you can be such a beautiful monster sometimes, just don't present yourself at Christmas, and we'll be fine.

My Dayplanner:
Thank you and your infinite disorganization for helping me to recognize what an incredibly solid network of friends and family I have. While having plans 20/7 may exhaust me, I wouldn't have my life any other way.

My Exhausting [Rewarding, yet Exhausting] Job:
Because not only does said job allow me to provide for myself and experience various luxuries, but I get to come home daily knowing I've improved the quality of someone else's life. It's a tough market and I'm lucky to be a part of the work force. Sub-thanks to my morning voicemails and emails, you serve as a constant reminder that I have been given the gift of hearing and sight. Exhausting job, you are invaluable and I don't tell you enough how appreciative I am for you.

Readers, remember to give thanks, not just this week - but always. [in the comment box below]

aj

Monday, November 19, 2012

intro.

For you, Grandma.
For the belief that all the trouble I seem to get into could serve as entertainment for the masses.

I am a twenty-four year old, single female, living the dream in beautiful Colorado. Displaced from Texas, I'm a social worker by trade, a Red Raider by accident, an intentional Green Bay Packers fan and above all, an adventurer.

In this blog you will find stories, lessons and non-sequitur run-on sentences of a life lived with little-to-no reservations.